The Children of the Eight-legged Mother - WQ Silver Tower Grot Scuttlings (2016)

  

Every year around this time I feel guilty for buying Warhammer Quest: Silver Tower and never getting around to paint all of its miniatures. I usually promise myself to do that, start with something and then get distracted by something else. This year it was the Grott Scuttlings. What's funny is that I bought a lot of colourful Contrast Paints, with a plan to do them extra Tzeentch-y, and ended up with this Blanchitsu nightmare of mute colours covered in a variety of inks. This is what Bob Ross would call a happy mistake.

So here's the Children of the Eight-legged Mother: a band of mutant Goblins worshipping a Giant Spider, which they called "Mother". They haunt the forest and come out of dark nights to snatch children away and offer them to their Mother Goddess. Grimdark af.

 

For some reason, these yellowish-tan skinned Goblins give me a lot of 70s/early 80s vibes, something like Rodney Matthews meets the Dark Crystal. really dig that. Anyway, Happy New Year!

Recycling AoS - The Avenger, Minor Daemon of Solkan

I like Age of Sigmar miniatures - they have great detail and dynamism. The problem is that the setting is silly, and many of them are very invested in the setting. But they can be recycled, if you know what I mean: purged of the silliest, pretentious and late-Blanchesque, to become quite decent pieces to use in your Warhammer games.

Enter the Stormcast Eternal from Warhammer Quest: Silver Tower. It's a Sigmarine, and I don't need to add anything. It's too large to be human, but it could be a golem, or a daemon, or both. A daemon-animated golem. Of Law, of course. Made of unyielding metal and wielding righteous fire as a weapon. Purging Chaos from the world, just as we purge the spirit of AoS from our miniatures.

So here it is, a first and bad attempt at Object Source Lighting - a double OSL because we are overly ambitious and inevitably fuck up. But that's part of the fun.

GW Isharann Tidecaster (2018)

Since they came out last year, I had mixed feelings for the Idoneth Deepkin. On one side, they are amazing models and among the coolest ever made. On the other, their lore is as silly as it gets, with magic sea spells in which fish can fly. In a nutshell: it's great to paint them, but then you don't know what to do with them. Certainly not play AoS...

In all the wide range of the Idoneth, the Isharann Tidecaster is my favourite. The dynamic pose is simply unparalleled, with the flowing cape and the fancy headdress and flying/swimming familiar. On the bad side, it's made of 12 separate parts that need to be carefully glued, with the high risk of messing up (which I did). Great to paint, horrifying to build.

Even after it's built, it's so fragile that the idea of using it in a game does not touch me at all: I don't want to snap one of the many little bits and to paste it again. No way. It's beautiful, leave it on the shelf.

Your opinion on the range?

GW Necromancer (2010)

Like the Evil Warrior, the Necromancer is another of the archetypes of Fantasy. Pale, sickly, old, disgusting and hateful, he is one of the evillest characters. Some authors have given him a twist by linking him with the Mad Scientist and namely with Dr. Frankenstein: he may be an unappreciated genius, and may be driven by noble motives. But still, he's unquestionably evil.

Gamew Workshop has had a long love affair with Necromancers since the days of Heinrich Kemmler, but in 2010 they came out with this piece, whose author is unknown to me but deserves all praise, because he has done an excellent job. This is possibly one of the best and most iconic miniatures ever sold by GW.

Its dynamism is perfect: the hunched back, the tattered robes pulled by a wind, the sword at the waits, coming out of the robes, the book hanging from the shoulder. And then the symbols: the staff shaped like a pastoral, but with skulls and fetishes hanging from it; the broken teeth; the skull in the hand. And the simplicity: just remove the silly collar (like I did) and the figure could pass for a classic one, and not a bit over the top like so many other sculpts from the period.

What more can I say? This is going to be a nice leader for any Undead army or warband in my future games. Lovely piece!

Warhammer's Moonman

The Moonman is a recurrent figure in Warhammer art. Its inception is of course due to John Blanche who, in the mid 80s, painted the beautiful piece Mona and the Moonman.

It's difficult to tell why Blanche loved the Moonheaded man so much, but it probably has something to do with the fact that it is a common theme in grotesque art all over Europe. It's almost an archetype, and Blanche loved archetypes.

Moonheads are very common in warhammer art, from Goblin banners to the ubiquitous shield-faces separating paragraphs in the classic rulebooks of the 80s.

The first miniature that Citadel dedicated to a moon-faced character was a Champion of Tzeentch riding a Disc, in 1988.
 

It was probably at this moment that the Moonhead came to be associated with Tzeentch. In fact, the 2017 AoS Herald of Tzeentch on Disc also comes with a variant Moon-face.

But little Moonman, with his diminutive frame a oversized head, did not receive justice until the end of 2016, when GW released AoS Silver Tower. In the mass of miniatures composing it, most of them Tzeetch-related, we can find Pug, one of the four familiars of the Gaunt Summoner. And Pug is directly based on the Moonman by John Blanche, well over 30 years after its original painting. What a lovely homage.

Here's what the Silver Tower book has to say about him:

Pug is a surly and acquisitive little imp. Fleet of foot and light of finger, he scurries by hidden ways through the Silver Tower, snatching up whatever shiny objects catch his eye. Anything Pug desires, he sees as his, and more than one mighty warrior has been led on a deeply undignified chase when this burbling little fiend grabbed their treasures and fled.

Don't you love (or hate) him already? The sculpt replicates the original in all details but gives him a more sinister look and adds what seems to be a mock magic staff and a helm from a Stormcast Eternal, which Pug holds with visible curiosity and sense of ownership. This is probably one of my favourite figures in the Silver Tower set!

Plus, have you seen his ass? It's like a baby's! Awww!

GW Skaven Deathrunners (2016)

Silver Tower is a set composed of two sides - heroes and minions of Tzeetch. And then, for some reason, there is the Skaven Deathrunner. It's just a random killing machine encounter, without any particular purpose within the story, but it's kind of cool.

I am no expert of Skaven and I can't find much about Deathrunners on the internet, so I made up some fluff for myself and my campaign. Maybe you can recycle it in some way for yours.

Assassins are the elite warriors of clan Eshin - over time, they have perfected the art of stealth and murder and none is more skilled in them save, perhaps, the Dark Elf Assassins of Naggaroth. Naturally, the path of the Assassin is not easy: not only becoming an Assassin requires talent and hard work and a trail of blood among rivals, but keeping the position also demands continued success in the tasks given by the Lords of the Clan.

The price for failure among Assassins is exceedingly high: it is said that once a Skaven Assassin is given a designated victim, one of the two must die. Going back home without completing a murder is not an option.

Still, sometimes it happens: this can be the result of genuine mistake by the Assassins, deeming the victim dead, or wilful lie: the Assassin might just think its target will never be found. But if the target is indeed found alive, the shame for the whole clan is great and the punishment for the Assassin exemplar.

This is usually the Deathrunner punishment: the Assassin is imprisoned and tortured extensively, until a new victim is designated, usually an archenemy of the Skaven. Few enemies are deemed worthy of a Deathrunner, so the period of imprisonment is generally long enough for the Skaven to go crazy and build a significant deathlust for anything that moves. When the victim is finally chosen, the prisoner is carved with tattoos and runes containing warpstone, giving him unholy powers: the horrible side effects of these rituals won't have time to develop, since a Deathrunner only has one mission in his life, and it's a suicide one. The prisoner is also fed with special potions giving him strength, quickness and resistance to pain normally impossible among regular Skaven: he grows larger during this time. His torture routine is coupled with images and stories about his target, causing him to identify him as the primary cause of his condition.

When the day comes, the Deathrunner is carried in proximity of his target in a closed cart, bound and blindfolded, and then equipped for war, drugged and released: thus starts his killing-spree. Most of the time his first victims are his jailers, but soon everything that moves follows. Still, the Deathrunner has only one thought: destroy his enemy. Anything standing in his path will be killed with a brutality only known by Rat-ogres, but coupled with an unnatural martial skill. Nothing survives the Deathrunner, not those who fight it, not those who run.

Once the target is dead, mauled and bitten to pieces, the Deathrunner is either killed by enemies or by the drugs he's been fed. Sometimes his heart will explode, other times he will die of exhaustion, and others he will just kill himself in his frenzy. So ends the life of the most fearsome warrior among the Ratkin.

GW Excelsior Warpriest (2016)

Age of Sigmar.

To those who were in love with the old Warhammer setting, it is anathema.

But to those who were in love with the original Warhammer setting, it's nothing new. Warhammer after 1993 sucked anyway. But let's not start on the path of the #grognard.

Age of Sigmar, we were saying. I gave it a try. And it's not bad.

It's logic, if anything. The original Warhammer setting was one of the most creative and funny fantasy settings ever, but it had a number of flaws that could not have let it survive into the 21st century, within the fold of a multinational. It was too derivative of classic fantasy, it was too British and there were way too many uncomfortable elements to make it acceptable for the big public. It was old, and it needed a retirement.

Don't flame up, my friends. You know it's true. It's gonna happen to Middle-earth, too: it's not ageless, it's a product of the 20th century and even today it is old. Ask young people.

Enter the Warhammer Fantasy reboot: Age of Sigmar. The Warhammer World was overcome by Chaos but something survived, escaped and found haven in eight worlds dominated each by a colour of magic.

Sigmar is alive, he is a God-King and rules the world of Azyr. He is now more powerful than ever and still pretty much a God of Law, but less gloomy and more cinematic. Forget Inquisition and Witch-hunters and get used to Gold-armoured Super-warriors riding lightning. Yes, it's basicly Valhalla on crack.

Among his servants, still, there is a priesthood. War-priests, to be precise.

"... and there slew they the goats, yea, and placed they the bits in little pots. Here endeth the lesson."

Get ready for oversized warhammers, holy books and parchments worn as if they were sashes. They look silly, granted, but still less silly than the old ones.

You would think with all that plate armour, he'd take a little care of his head, no? No. HE HAS TWO WARHAMMERS!

Plus, they have cynogryphs. Get it? Like hyppogryphs, but dogs instead of horses. Right. Gryph-hounds. Sigh.

Yarp!

There will be more of this. I purchased the Silver Tower set and will be taking pictures of the miniatures as I progress in painting them.

Stay tuned.